Contentment

Philippians 4:10 -13
I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at least you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who give me strength.

One of THOSE days...

Ever had one of those days... not a bad day... just a day that you weren't exactly sure what God is up to? One of those days that you feel a little unsure of what to do next? One of those days that you see someone with a baby (or even a commercial) and you wish that was you? One of those days that you wonder, what if? And, Why didn't I? One of those days you were a little discontent, but yet you love your life and job, and wonder why you are discontent because you have a great life? One of those days you want to cry, but you stuff it all inside and hope it stays there until you get home, but when you get home you really don't want to cry anymore?

Well... that was my day today. Apart from what is going on in the world... this is what has been inside my mind for most of the day! I am not going to write a bunch of Scripture here... even though I have been reading it tonight... I am just saying that sometimes you have those days.

As for what is going on in the world. I am praying for our new Commander and Chief, and praying that the administration is up to the task ahead.


And at the end of this day, which will end soon for me because 4:45 comes way to early when you stay up until mid-night, I still have a desire to be a mom, a desire to be a wife, a desire to know what God is up to.... but most of all I want to honor Christ with my actions and reaction and rely on Him, even though it is hard sometimes to give up the control!

To Be the Best....

To be the best at something you have to prepare. It doesn't always come naturally, and you can't expect it to. National Football Championships are not won without practice....long hard hours of practice. Scholarships are not received without dedication and hard work in school. You can't just decide one day to run a marathon, and go out and win.... you have to train.
This is something I was thinking about today on the way home from our Speech and Debate tournament. Those that won, more than likely put in hard, dedicated hours of preparation. We have improved, but if we want to win, we have to dedicate ourselves, set a goal, and work toward that goal.

Our walk with Christ can be this way at times. It takes dedication... and at times hard work. There are days it would be easier to focus on myself than to pray for others in need. There are times I would much rather stay in bed, then go to church. There are days I want to give up on students who seem to not get it then beat my head against another brick way and turn blue trying to teach them the truth. But that is not what God has called me to. My goal... to become like Christ adn live for Him... that takes hours of preparation, dedication,. and commitment. Thank goodness He is willing to carry me through the days that I don't want to go forward... and when I wander... He doesn't waver... He doesn't move.... He waits for me to realize that I can't do life with out HIM all up in my business!

Freedom

A weekend with no obligation. I have done laundry and read an entire book today. It is strange to have a weekend with no obligation. Sometimes it is nice... but others I wonder what it would be like to actually have someone depending on me. Someone to answer to.... I haven't really had that in so long. I am not talking about work, etc...

Oh, well... It has been realxing.

I am still church visiting. I am going to Heritage tomorrow. I went to FBC last week and have 3 people contact me this week. Visiting churches is not my favorite thing to do, if I haven't said that before. It is much easier when you are called on staff some place. Then you don't really have to think about it. You have an obligation to be a part of the church.

I will keep you posted on what I think about tomorrow morning.

Headed to the parents house in a little while...

May peace and grace reside with you today!

First Day Back

The first day back is always a little odd. Since I teach 1 semester classes, it is almost like starting the year over. There is a new combination of students, new personalities, and you have to start all over. I just finished teaching the subject and now I have to go back to the beginning again. But once we get into things, it will be good. I am thankful for a 1st period planning time to be able to organize myself for the day!
Well, Next weekend I go the the University of AL for a Forensics tournament, And then the next Monday is a Holiday, then 3 weeks after that I will be in DC, then the next weekend we have a long holiday! And then 4 weeks after that is Spring Break... and after that, it is all down hill!
This semester is really going to fly by. I really need to find a part time job for the summer. Not that I want one, but it would help to get some money back into savings.

I am going to be productive... I will update more later!

Reflection

So.... I finally sat and reflected on the past year... and evaluated my goals from last year and June. I have a birthday in June, so my true "New Year" beings June 2nd. However, I have made it a habit to evaluate my goals every 6 months. I have had some life changes since June, which does slightly alter my goals.
So here is the "State of my Life" address in a reflection of this past year and the last 4 days:)

Last January I was still a youth minister. I was making plans for summer. My best friend only lived an hour away for the first time since I moved to Texas in 1998. However... my life was so busy I had no time to myself. I felt like I wasn't giving my best to either of my jobs. However - I gained a new close friend in my fellow minister at church....
The end of school came in May....and summer began. Little did I know I would finally make friends with people in the church other than the youth and their parents through the Perry County mission trip. I had long talks with some of the ladies that week and learned a lot about the different attitudes within the church. I felt a real need to pray for the church and bring prayer as a ministry into the church body... however, could I really take on something else?
We then went to Nashville... I saw God at work in many different ways. I saw people step out of their boxes and comfort zones and join God in His work... and then take that home and apply it through working at the nursing home.
AND... then all hell broke loose. I lost respect for the leadership in the church, and they lost respect for me.... My philosophy of ministry is serve and let God provide. However, that is not what the powers that be wanted. And so, after a weary battle, I left my post. I am still a member, just not active. But, going different places, I have seen and experience what I have been missing for the past 3 years... the Holy Spirit being allowed to work.
So, here I am... looking for a church home and a place to serve. At times I feel displaced, others thankful that I am where I am, but most of the time I am still sad and miss my church family (as it was).... sure, we still talk... but those times are getting more sparse as life gets in the way. There will come a time that I become the remember when topic... and the where is she now topic of conversation. I will have moved on and so will they... or that is how it usually goes. This makes me sad. It is hard to move on.... but it happens. I hear about different youth from the church and see thier FB pictures ... their getting drunk comments and pics... and it makes me wonder if I did anything right. Did anything I said or did make any difference at all?

So what now? I don't know what the year holds. Good times... I am sure... disappointments.... of course.... But God is in control of it all.

My prayer is "Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. I want to know what it's like to follow you. When men look at me, I want them to see, the Light of the World inside" Move me out of the way and use me as you see fit.

While I am Waiting by John Waller

I’m waiting

I’m waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I’m waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I’m waiting

I will serve You

While I’m waiting

I will worship

While I’m waiting

I will not faint

I’ll be running the race

Even while I wait

I’m waiting

I’m waiting on You, Lord

And I am peaceful

I’m waiting on You, Lord

Though it’s not easy

But faithfully, I will wait

Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I’m waiting

I will worship while I’m waiting

I will serve You while I’m waiting

I will worship while I’m waiting

I will serve You while I’m waiting

I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord

A New Year with Reliance on my Lord and Saviour

I want to sit and reflect on last year... what did I learn? How have I changed? Am I more like Christ than I was a year ago?
I have yet to make my new goal... they will come in time, I guess. I am still looking for a new church, a new place to serve and worship, lonely at times but thankful for my precious family... So what does this year bring? In all reality, my new chapter doesn't start until June 2nd... but my 6 month evaluation is over due. Where am I with my goals and dream for life? Maybe I will get to that soon....
I have to say, I am ready for summer, even though I will have to get a supplementary job for the summer... or rather I need to. I know this year holds surprises.... and there will be times He will walk beside me and others I will have to be carried. I crave to Be Still and Know that HE is God, so often.
May this year be one of growth and becoming more like Christ daily... and through it all may laughter be abundant : - )